A Big Beach

After many arduous days traveling through Egypt's western desert, a weary Bedouin might fall victim to a "mirage," an optical phenomenon in which refracted light rays produce the illusion of the sudden appearance on the horizon of some kind of coveted scene or object, like a spring of drinking water, a cluster of welcoming homes, or a group of Italian tourists in speedos.

Fridays is the Holy Day

Some people might complain about the presence of an American chain restaurant on the banks of the Nile, but not me, especially not on July 4th.

Master of Masr

Aaron and Hosni.

Aar On Guard

Aaron poses in an abandoned guard post in Giza. Later, he would complain about the smell. He is seriously such a pussy!

One Has Wings, Is An Angel

Aaron yawns outside of the Mr. and Mrs. Mohamed Mahmoud Khalil Museum of Art in Giza, France.

This Is Where I Get All My Polos

A clothing store near Attaba Square in Cairo.

Lethargicize

Cairo is hot and the Cairo metro hotter even in spite of the jet-force speed of ceiling fans and open windows. Which is why the ladies only car is such a relief. From the pink velvet chairs to the attendants offering pedicures to the constant trill of happy gossip and soft hisses of a needlepoint in progress, it's a respite from the demanding city streets. The men really don't know what they're missing!

Whatermelon

This watermelon cart in Cairo's Boulaq neighborhood is one of identical hundreds throughout the city. Without any evidence, I was long-convinced that the alluring display slices were dyed red, which put me off. But maybe the watermelons really are that good, and I should learn to be more trusting.

Feels Like Sand

The khamseen season is supposed to end in April, but this week was unseasonably sandy and hot and my colleagues spent a good deal of "water cooler" time complaining about it. It's the usual office chatter about the weather, sort of like what other people might have about extended rainstorms or cold snaps, until they realize how lucky they are.

To the uninitiated, talk of giant clouds of sand besieging the city, blocking the sun, and trapping the heat, seem part of an orientalist fantasy, a more suitable script for Rudolph Valentino in a turban than the unveiled Director of Human Resources. But sandstorms are very real, something every Egyptian realizes the moment they are forced to navigate their feluca down the Nile in one (pictured above).

Its Trustful Foot

For weeks now, spheres of white fuzz--like the head of a dandelion--have been blowing over the fence of my community garden and amassing on the curb. Once, I caught a white cat lounging in the downfall. "What are you hiding from, little cat?" I wondered.

It is hard not to get carried away when reminded of childhood, but I wish I had been able to warn the man who lost his sandal mid-frolic. He might not want to be barefoot in the surrounding area.

Trucks Allowed

This hand-stenciled street sign welcomes trucks onto a quiet, residential street in Maadi.

I've Been Feeling Guilty About...

On a recent Egypt Air flight, I accepted the vegetarian meal mistakenly offered to me, depriving a more organized vegetarian of the surprisingly delicious chickpeas and spinach. In my hunger, I admit that I considered the theft fortuitous. As penance, I will plant a chickpea bush so enormous you can see it from an ordinary passenger jet and, one day, from space.

Art Review: Egyptian Surrealism

The message in this piece from Townhouse Gallery's exhibit of Egyptian Surrealists is fairly progressive for its day, unless it is a command.

A Woman Needs a Bicycle Like a Cat Has a Bicycle

People always say they're jealous of cats because they get to nap all the time in the spots on the carpet that the sun warms, and I get that. But these orange tabbies also have a really nice-looking bike.

Free Hat

On the corner of Road 11 and Road 85, Maadi, Cairo, Egypt. First come first served, or best offer.

Seams from My Father

A bleak department store near my office has much more in the way of window dressing and spiritless employees than actual goods, but don't worry about this slouched mannequin in his oversize suit.


He hasn't given up.

Dream House 2

If I lived here I would paint the ground below this blacony to look like a swimming pool and post a sign on the railing that says "Warning: Cartoon," and then I would have lots of dangerous parties.

Wonders of the Underground World

Cairo is so overflowing with artifacts that even the long hallways of the Sadat metro station have to double as gallery space.

The god of reading the newspaper while waiting for the train to come.

A working payphone.

A: Religious Awakening

Q: What do you call the sound of the dawn call to prayer thundering from a mosque loudspeaker two blocks from your bedroom window?

All the Umbrellas in Cairo

Today it rained unexpectedly, pockmarking this parked car's dust, and the city's.

Sana Sort of Helwa

We celebrated two office birthdays this afternoon with cake. Like most non-Egyptian sweets in Cairo, the cake was both enormous and not very good. If you've ever wiped up spilled chocolate milk with a sponge and then eaten the sponge, you have a pretty good idea of how it tasted. If you've ever had a nightmare in which you're an 18th century French aristocrat fleeing murderous peasants in your elaborate and overgrown garden, you have an idea of what the cake looked like, especially if there's sliced kiwi all over your garden.

For my birthday, I am going to demand something a little more authentic, like the above Sphinx cake.

Dream House

If I lived here I would paint the concrete roof canopy to look like a yin yang or maybe a painter's palette full of really psychedelic colors and then I would have lots of parties.

Wine Some, Lose Some

I don't know much about wine or the complicated systems in place to rate it, but I bet that if you're compelled, when tasting a new bottle, to exclaim, "Gross!," the wine is not very good.

BBQ

I'm a vegetarian so I don't recognize what kind of meat this is, being slow cooked by a twisted florescent bulb, but the butcher yelled at me for taking a photo, so I assume it's people.

Gaze

This is a picture of one of the pyramids of Giza, and it is also a picture of how long my hair is now.

Hurling Dervish

Seeing a whirling dervish perform must be like attending a competitive eating contest--you watch someone do something for a long time that, if you attempted, would certainly make you throw up. I don't know for sure, though, because I've never been to a competitive eating contest.

Terraffic

This brightly-colored license plate looks like it says "I love" in English, and perfectly describes the opposite of the way I feel about Cairo traffic. Of course, it really says, "Suez Customs, 12574."

Poorverbs

Arabs say "To understand a people, acquaint yourself with their proverbs." So I did. My favorite, for its cultural specificity, is the Arab version of overstaying your welcome, "He ate the camel and all it carried." Cute!

I am trying to assimilate, so I made up my own proverb. It means, basically, if you can't distinguish what you want from all that is around you, you'll never find it. But it literally translates as, "These poor expats will never find their puppy because it looks just like all the mangy strays in Maadi that people think it a community service to run over with their cars."